Patients suspected of having high blood pressure will get another check at home because of fears that nurses in stocking and tight, crisp, white uniforms may be leading to too many people being diagnosed. So-called Carry-on hypertension is thought to affect a quarter of people, the NHS advisory body NICE said. The solution being put forward involves ensuring patients who have had a high blood pressure reading by a glamorous nurse get checked at home by a munter.
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Nurses blamed for high blood pressure
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beau-jolly
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberDo please help yourself, Oxy. Originally plaguerised from this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12541658
Posted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberI know, John. Sometimes when you are hoovering naked and trip on the rug...
Posted 2 years ago # -
Oxbridge
offlineMemberHere goes then:
Cor! Naughty nurses blamed for fellas' high blood pressure
Patients suspected of having high blood pressure will get another check at home because of fears that nurses in fishnet stocking and low-cut, tightly fitting white uniforms may be leading to too many people being misdiagnosed. 'Carry On Hypertension' is thought to affect one in four people, the NHS advisory body NICE said.
'This is an intolerable situation,' said Dr Kenneth Tinkle, a consultant in obstetrics at Lord Killmore's General Hospital in Cricklewood. 'A large number of henpecked middle-aged male patients are being put at risk of fainting with delight or leering as these young nymphets lean over them to take their pressure, accidentally revealing their ample cleavage in the process. Myairrsss...'
In about 5,000 cases, dizzy blonde nurses have leaned forward and accidentally bumped their breasts into male patients, causing a sound like a trombone to inexplicably go off. In a few extreme cases, this has caused the mercury in blood pressure gauges to shoot out through its glass casing on to the ceiling, putting staff and patients at risk of serious injury.
The cost to the NHS is also considerable. In one case, reports suggest, a middle-aged patient's dowdy wife was so enraged at the sight of a busty brunette nurse wiggling suggestively while adjusting her husband's bedpan that she attacked both of them with her handbag. This caused an elderly man's bed to career along the corridor and down three flights of stairs, leaving him hanging helplessly feet first out of an air vent in an amusing fashion.
'We can't afford any more of these slip-ups,' said consultant dermatologist Dr Sid Scratchit. 'The only solution is for patients to carry out their own blood pressure check at home, under the supervision of a humourless and overweight matron. Mind you, that might do the trick for some of them. Nyuh huh huh huh huh.'
Posted 2 years ago # -
4ty2
offlineMembercommented at that when in hopsital myself if they ever considered trying to get normal values in the process by sending out that cute nurse I referred to as my cardio-vascular exercise program.
Nurse replied in is not my blood pressure I should be worried about but theirs, having to cope with me. That was the day after which I caused them to panic having been found under the bed, so they raised the "head injury fallen out of bed alarm" which caused a bit of commotion. I was just admiring the hydraulics and mechanics - as any bored engineer would do, and they were not very happy when I wanted to adjust the respirator either.Now mercury pressure gauges have long been banned by elf'n safety so you'd better suggest the meter to go up in smoke or it being the cause of cardiac arrest.
Home test would need to be carefully controlled against influence of nagging wife or news program about politicians or bankers...
Posted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberReverential bow to Mr. Ox. Think this should be a def FP. Oh Yers, Maytrone.
Posted 2 years ago #
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