The Metropolitan Police Armed Response Unit confirmed today that all Foreign Olympic Pistol Shooting Competitors will be wrestled to the ground, cuffed, charged and put before a specially convened 'bulk' court. Their pistols will be confiscated and melted down, "like what happened to UK owners in 1998".
"Any chelping and they'll get The Full Brazilian" said one insider. "You cannot be serious!!" said Lord Coe speaking this afternoon.
The Law Lords confirmed that Pistols are prohibited, commenting "..Only muzzle-loading pistols - including muzzle-loading revolvers - are permitted. All other pistols are prohibited on the UK mainland".
Attempting the Rapid-Fire event with a muzzle-loader would give a somewhat 'Benny Hill' look to proceedings.
The National Rifle Association confirmed that this shouldn't affect Team GB, as they fly to Switzerland to practice where the pistols are kept.
"You couldn't make it up" said one disgruntled former middle-aged weapon-holder.