Trixie, a fourteen year old New Forest pony, will appear in Southampton court today on drug mule charges.
Trixie’s solicitor spoke to local journalists, attempting to explain Trixie’s ‘moment of madness’. Giles Forsyth said that ‘many people didn’t understand that in the current recession, New Forest ponies are struggling to survive now that gifts from squealing and inquisitive young girls who are on camping trips with their parents, have dried up.”
The local constabulary has challenged this defence, saying that they are confident that they can prove Trixie took a ferry from Poole to the North Coast of France. Here, she is alleged to have met up with an Algerian crime gang. When Trixie was stopped on her return from the continent, custom officers found that she had swallowed condoms stuffed full of carrots and apples.
Detective Inspector Reece Davenport says that, ‘if the condoms had burst inside her, then she would have od'ed instantly....I just don’t know why these young ponies are risking their lives for such a quick fix. The only people who win are the dealers who have been known to ‘bulk’ the carrots and apples out with turnips or swede to increase the amount they can sell on the street’.
New Forest ponies are renown for their approachability and friendliness and it has been suggested that this is also what makes they more vulnerable to any criminal overtures. Most ponies also have the new psycho-metric passports, allowing them to cross the channel and back again without arousing any undue suspicion.