Britain's mainstream political parties have taken steps to 're-illusion' the nation's disillusioned electorate, by employing well-known magicians and illusionists to conjure up extra votes.
Labour spin doctors have turned to controversial mentalist Derren Brown, who, in a series of Channel 4 broadcasts, will use his powers of sub-conscious persuasion to 'suggest' that Gordon Brown is the right man to lead the country.
Conservative election strategists have countered this move by unleashing their 'secret weapon', Paul Daniels, who will saw BBC presenter Peter Snow in half during a live Election Night debate, before announcing that 'you'll like our policies on windfall tax, but not a lot.'
Meanwhile Nick Clegg is keeping his cards close to his chest after discovering that noted illusionist Ali Bongo died several years ago. However sources close to the Liberal leader claim that he has been actively courting the services of The Great Soprendo, whose catchphrase 'piff paff poof' is believed to be crucial in securing the 'pink vote'.
(By me and QorbeQ)