To his neighbours in Gas Street, Keighley, Steve Crawley is just a quiet guy who keeps himself to himself. But to the members of SOCK, the Sexual Offenders’ Society, Keighley chapter, he’s a teller of tall tales, mostly concerning what he’d like to do, if given half a chance, to celebrity female newsreaders, particularly Natasha Kaplinsky
“Being a serial sex offender can get lonely at times”, admits Steve. “There’s no-one in my neighbourhood who I can regale with some of my grosser fantasies... and believe me, I’ve tried. So it was a thoughtful gesture when the police invited me onto the register of offenders. Not everyone gets asked, you know. It’s quite an honour. A whole new world opened up for me when I managed to get hold of a list of all the registered sex offenders living in Keighley. Who would have guessed there would be so many in this most picturesque of West Yorkshire milltowns?
“I sent an email to everyone on the list, suggesting we could all meet up the following Monday night at the Sports and Social Club. And, you know what, it was brilliant. There was good mix of perversions, plus plenty of regular folk who, well, don’t like to take no for an answer. No coprophiliacs, though. Some health & safety regulation, apparently.
“It’s great to have a proper social life again. Whatever happens next, no witness will ever again describe me as a ‘crazed loner’, and that’s a relief in itself. Monday nights used to be miserable, but not any more. I’m sure ‘Tasha would enjoy the ambience too. I’ve emailed her – many times – but I haven’t heard back yet”...