A leading energy company has announced today that they have finally been able to harness the power of dead prime-ministers in their pursuit of a clean, unlimited supply of energy.
Technicians at PlusGen have been monitoring underground tremors near Blenheim palace for many months and signature readings now seem to indicate that the whirling corpse of Britain’s war-time leader has reached a sufficient rotation ratio to make electricity generation cost-effective. This revelation coincides with further government announcements of cuts and a general 'downgrading’ in global esteem for a nation that stood alone between democracy and fascism and experts suggest that this may account for the ‘spike’ in gyration that means Churchill is now revolving at a pace not seen since the late 1970’s.
A spokesperson for PlusGen confirmed that after being granted permission by National Heritage, they wrapped the Nobel Prize winner in layers of copper wire and placed two industrial magnets either side of his tomb. Early experiments have been so successful, it is felt that Churchill could come online to the National Grid within weeks. As changes to the NHS take place and there is a greater introduction of market forces, energy industry insiders are keeping a close eye on the resting place of Clement Atlee, expecting this to provide another bonanza of free and potentially infinite energy.
PlusGen has applied for patents for its technology in both the UK and US. Michael Mitchell, spokesman for the US subsidiary of PlusGen, believes that as the Obama administration moves towards the political right, the body of Martin Luther King could supply enough juice to power most of the air-conditioning for the Eastern seaboard in the muggy months of July and August. However, back in the UK, it is feared that since Ed Miliband has taken over the leadership of the Labour party, it is unlikely that Michael Foot will every produce more than a few volts.