Nutritional experts from McVities announced today that the humble custard cream is not just a tasty crunchy snack but also a superfood. Research into the eating habits of some of Britain’s brainiest boffins has revealed that over 90% of university lecturers have eaten at least one custard cream a week over the last five years. Britain’s boardroom bigwigs are just as hungry for the crumbly brainfood with the average blue-chip business meeting going through an average of fifteen custardy lovelies.
McVities spokesperson Diane Gestive said "It may seem to the average shopper that when they pop custard creams into their baskets that they are getting nothing more than a delicious sandwich of loveliness to go with their tea. In reality they are choosing the snack of champions. We are anticipating big orders from health food shops coming in soon and not just because of the enormous mark-ups they can add once we add a little tree logo to the new brown paper style packaging".
Sales of custard creams are expected to rocket as Britain’s workers look for a healthy snack for those times when you are not really hungry but could do with a little something, not crisps because they are too noisy and not fruit because
it's probably gone a bit wrinkly as you bought it with good intentions but it's been sitting on your desk for a while now.
It has also been revealed that self-styled health guru and pretend doctor Gillian McKieth has never eaten custard creams. "This clearly supports claims of the health benefits of custardy biscuits" said someone we met in a corridor at a top
university, "Gillian has clearly no idea about nutrition. If she did she wouldn't look like a ziplock bag of something that might be soup or possibly stewed apples that you find when defrosting your freezer".