Italy has warned that an influx of Tunisian migrants arriving on its shores could have devastating consequences for all European Nations.
Interior Minister Roberto Maroni said migrants who have landed on the island of Lampedusa threaten the delicate weight balance of Europe. He stated that if these migrants manage to reach the mainland, they threaten to overload southern Europe due to their sheer weight, leading to the entire continent flipping over.
More than 5,000 migrants reached the southern Italian town of Reggio di Calabria by boat last week. 'We measured a 0.1% tilt in Europe correlating exactly to the moment these immigrants arrive' said Dr Alfonzo de Mateo of The Italian Centre for Immigration and Continent Overturning.
The Centre's research suggests that Europe will reach a 'angle of no return' within 50 years if immigration continues at current rates. When this critical angle is reached, the residents of more northerly countries will begin to gravitate to the south of the continent, creating a feedback loop exponentially exacerbating the problem until the entire continent tips over.
Some of the most northerly countries have responded with national weight gain campaigns to counteract the effect, with the SNPs 'deep fry your food and keep Scotland upright' campaign being launched by Alex Salmond next week.