A group of Welsh vicars have reacted petulantly to news the Government may permit same-sex couples to "marry" in Church. It comes as Equalities Minister Lynne Featherstone plans to scrap the ban on civil partnerships taking place in religious settings in England and Wales. The four ministers, who sing in a close harmony quartet known as Boblogi chan 'r bentref, or People of the Village, are said to be mildly hysterical at the proposals.
Talking to reporters from South Wales Today, vicar Marc Williams, who presides over St David's, rubbished the plans, saying, "Not on my watch, sister! OMG! I mean can you believe it! As soon as I heard the news I texted Andi Evans from St Margaret's. He said you could have knocked him over with a feather duster.”
“I nearly choked on my raspberry daiquiri,” added Andi, the group’s counter tenor. “I daren’t think what they’ll come up with next.”
The other members of the group, All Souls vicar Julian Roberts and Toni Griffiths from St Benet’s, took their outrage further when they joined forces to lead their parishioners on a march along Port Talbot High Street. Under banners emblazoned with the words "Church Pride", their 200-strong congregation paraded into the night accompanied by the music of Gloria Gaynor.
"I crocheted some of the pennants myself,” said Julian. “It was the least I could do and I had a load of wool spare after last year's protest against the ordination of female clergy.”
Toni continued, “We had to make do with last spring's colours, but we still looked gorgeous didn’t we girls!"
The men, who are all happily married, are expected to take their case to the courts. "We're representing ourselves, and what we lack in legal knowledge we'll more than make up for with our singing. It'll be quite the show, darling" assured Marc, conductor and alto for the four-piece choir. “And great preparation for Britain’s Got Talent.”