I have been worrying about the Britshow privately, ever since I learned that the Winning Bid did not have VAT in it, either at 17.7 or at 20%. OK: they wanted it, and they wanted to show us...erm...well, what? Delighted by this thread because it does highlight some national themes:
This is good: top billing
a troupe of Burkha-clad morris dancers doing the macarena?
Making the German team carry a banner stating 'We started it'?
There should also actually be the actual Major of London on his actual bike and I think he really ought to carry the torch into the arena, do a full circle and light the British Gas Olympic Flame, against a background of shivvering wrinklies.
And what about those naked ladies playing football on a lawn? If not now, when? the Wimmins Institute, for example, could show us their tits and, and, no: not materal ribbony kinds of banners, but crocheted patchwork cushions for the Drum Majorettes to boot around (they've all got to be fat slags from Nottingham).
Then there ought to be things of real interest to real Brits: in a roaring fraught and overwrought howl of fantastic rubber-carbonising noise, let's write off five Ferraris, complete wrecks, up they go in flames....but wait: it's also a pissup, and here come the firefighters, with logo-branded firetrucks to douse them in beer. Think of the merchandinsing sychronies>
And above it all a sort of Carbon Footprint Counter, for the Greenies, which logs flights, traffic, the Flame, the Ferraris, and cremation of elderly popsicles , with a specially-coloured BBC graphic-style tranche depicting the gas co-efficient for the World Bank, Westminster, the Pope's Visit and Downing street.
It's a real pity the Olympics haven't yet been had, because a show like this one could really put the kybosh on Middle Eastern Revolutions. Wait till they find out that, as Democracies, they'll have to actually fund a visit by the Pope.