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riesler
offlineMember
Don't know why, but I have this persisting image of Team GB entering the stadium to the theme from The Archers.
Made me wonder if anyone out there has some ideas for the ceremony.
How about Keith Flint to light the Olympic flame?
Boris to do a lap on a 'Boris-bike'?
4ty2
offlineMember
would actually think of a BP sponsorship deal with a real big flame to make a point. This could be accompanied by singing "goodbye going green" or if we want to have a smaller flame for carbon footprint reasons we just call it a "candle in the wind" ceremony with Elton John's musical melancholy. This way we could make use of the 3D projection recently shown on the FP
Doylem
offlineMember
Since I live in rural Cumbria, and don't have a TV, I don't think the Olympics, and all our shattered Olympic dreams are going to be on my Radar next summer. Opening ceremony? I don't care, though if it's something painful happening to Jeffrey Archer or Boris Johnson, I'll settle for that. Cheap and cheerful...
riesler
offlineMember
As a regular commuter through the Blackwall Tunnel I think I will also make myself scarce for a couple of weeks.
Apologies for being parochial - the Blackwall Tunnel is a notorious daily gridlock under the Thames and it will have a lane closed off during the Olympics for exclusive use of VIPs, politicians and, doubtless, Simon Cowell.
beau-jolly
offlineMember
The Olimpic commitee asked Dorset police to close off one lane all the way the the Yatching stuff in Weymouth. There is only one lane on most of the stretch. They agreed of course and Dorset authorities have hurridly been building a 2nd lane to close off. Apparently the athletes have been told it's only about a hour to Weymouth from that London. What in summer! It's 2 hours from my house and I live in Dorset. At least the brits will have a chance to get away early while the rest of the competitors are still stuck on the M3
thisisall1word
offlineMember
Re-used bunting from the royal wedding
some cheap fireworks
100 packs of party balloons
the cast of 'We Will Rock You' singing Queen covers
whichever dance troupe finishes in the last 10 of X-Factor 2012 jigging about
David Beckham kicking a football into the last remaining red telephone box
the cast of Eastenders & Wills n Kate waving at the crowd from atop one of the new style route-master buses which look nothing like route-master buses
Some big cloth thing that people wave around which the commentators tell us 'represents the river Thames, the life of our capital city'
spoilt children running around in some vague order
representatives of the armed forces driving around in three open top mini metro, one red, one white, one blue
the red fucking arrows flying overhead
drama students dressed as pearly kings and queens walking in a way that can only be described as Lambeth. or wrong.
Wenlock & Mandeville mascots throwing official sponsor chocolate bars into the crowd
An out of hospital, fit as a fiddle, Maggie Thatcher singing Jerusalem atop a gold pyramid
Anonymous
offlineUnregistered
There can be only one Theme for Team GB to enter the stadium :-
Watch & listen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GjNSUatTc4
Hunter F. Thompson
offlineMember
I have been worrying about the Britshow privately, ever since I learned that the Winning Bid did not have VAT in it, either at 17.7 or at 20%. OK: they wanted it, and they wanted to show us...erm...well, what? Delighted by this thread because it does highlight some national themes:
This is good: top billing
How about:
a troupe of Burkha-clad morris dancers doing the macarena?
Making the German team carry a banner stating 'We started it'?
There should also actually be the actual Major of London on his actual bike and I think he really ought to carry the torch into the arena, do a full circle and light the British Gas Olympic Flame, against a background of shivvering wrinklies.
And what about those naked ladies playing football on a lawn? If not now, when? the Wimmins Institute, for example, could show us their tits and, and, no: not materal ribbony kinds of banners, but crocheted patchwork cushions for the Drum Majorettes to boot around (they've all got to be fat slags from Nottingham).
Then there ought to be things of real interest to real Brits: in a roaring fraught and overwrought howl of fantastic rubber-carbonising noise, let's write off five Ferraris, complete wrecks, up they go in flames....but wait: it's also a pissup, and here come the firefighters, with logo-branded firetrucks to douse them in beer. Think of the merchandinsing sychronies>
And above it all a sort of Carbon Footprint Counter, for the Greenies, which logs flights, traffic, the Flame, the Ferraris, and cremation of elderly popsicles , with a specially-coloured BBC graphic-style tranche depicting the gas co-efficient for the World Bank, Westminster, the Pope's Visit and Downing street.
It's a real pity the Olympics haven't yet been had, because a show like this one could really put the kybosh on Middle Eastern Revolutions. Wait till they find out that, as Democracies, they'll have to actually fund a visit by the Pope.
Tristan Shout
offlineMember
Your favourite joke?
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11572#post-31643
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