Visiting a top-secret military location today, David Cameron accidentally took a truth drug instead of a cup of tea.
'This secret military installation is under the new Olympic stadium,' he announced to shocked journalists. 'No-one's coming here as it will be nigh-on impossible to get within several miles of the place, due the fact that we haven't planned any public transport for it. That's why we didn't bother opening Tottenham's bid for the place. I mean, when West Ham are in the SECOND DIVISION, with none of this nonsense about the 'Championship', then who's going to turn up to watch them play Back of Beyond United?
'Anyway, I want to tell you about The Big Society. Big Society! Don't make me laugh! I mean, we've got no money, we're cutting as much as we can, and none of the bunch of tossers in the cabinet have the slightest idea how to tell their arse from their elbow, never mind how to run the country. Michael Gove looks like his mummy's telling him off, George Osbourne is still doing sums in his Winnie-the-Pooh Book of Sums for Little Boys, and Vince Cable is just plain senile. As for Clegg, let me tell you what we did to him at public school. So there's no jobs, no money, no ideas - of course the country has to run itself.
'Oh wait, I'm feeling quite dizzy... What was I saying? Oh yes, the Big Society. Well, we're certainly not launching the Big Society because we haven't got any money...'
Cameron accidentally takes truth drug
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Visiting a top-secret military location today, David Cameron accidentally took a truth drug instead of a cup of tea.Posted 6 years ago #
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