In an unprecedented move guaranteed to cause outcry and outrage, members of Parliament were discovered slumped lifeless in the House of Commons, in the early hours.
A spokesman for Dignitas explained ‘This is the largest case in which we have been asked to assist, from inception to implementation. We were first approached several months ago by MPs depressed and distressed over the state of the economy and the increasing reliance on minor public school figures in formulating and implementing policy. Additionally there was perceived loss of public respect and overwhelming feelings of guilt at misclaimed and totally erroneous expenses. From that stage it was just a question of preparation, and dare I say it? Swiss organisation and metronomic attention to detail. We at Dignitas are hopeful that this will create a political precedent and that our services will also be requested by other countries. We have already received an approach, although this is of course in the initial stages, from The European Parliament, whose members are similarly suffering from pangs of guilt regarding inflated salaries, unjustifiable expense allowances and pension packages bearing no relation to the minimum effort and input required. The only question remaining unanswered is whether the act will take place in Brussels or Strasbourg’.
A Government spokesman said ‘This is an initiative that will be widely welcomed by the general public and media commentators who have long realised that members of parliament were not representing the public’s interest but were really only intent on fulfilling their own political agenda’.
A spokesman for the Mothers’ Unions agreed that this was long overdue ‘For far too long we have had to stand by, seemingly helpless as the nation’s babies have endured having their foreheads kissed and chubby cheeks tweaked by these so called representatives of the public conscience. Hopefully this political suicide will now make MPs think twice.’
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MPs commit Political Suicide
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offlineMemberPosted 4 years ago #
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