Veteran Man Utd goalkeeper Edwin Van Der Sar has confirmed he will definitely be retiring at the end of the current season, a decision he feels has been forced upon him by proposed cutbacks announced by Manchester District Council.
The Dutch international had hinted in his blog back in March that he was considering hanging up his gloves at the end of the 2011-2012 season, but it is clear the decision made by MCC to close all public toilets on the way into Old Trafford has finally tipped the balance in favour of retirement.
Van Der Sar, who lives on the outskirts of Manchester and is a close neighbour of team mate Gary Neville says the decision to close the public toilets will hit the Man Utd squad very hard. Although Neville claims he is retiring from top flight football to concentrate on his passion for water-colouring, Van Der Sar believes the real reason behind the decision is the proposed closure of all public toilets between Lowton, Glazebury, Boothstown and Worsley...regular stops taken along the way every morning by senior members of the Man Utd squad.
‘It’s not just me and Gary’ said Van Der Sar from the cubicle of a gents just off the A580 ‘there are rumours that Scholesy and Giggsy could be next to go....just as soon as I’m finished in here that is. Don’t get me wrong, they are a good bunch of lads but having Paul and Ryan carpooling in the back of an Audi A3 on the way to the training ground every day is no joke. It's more than just the strain on teamspirit that sets me off’
Although the cost of keeping every public toilet open for the citizens of Manchester would not make the slightest dent in the pay packets of United’s multi millionaire footballers, the option of retiring to their mansions is overwhelmingly more attractive than any moral obligation to give something back to the fans.
‘Utd fans say we should get off our arse and carry on playing’ strained Van Der Sar ‘but now the Stretford End is banned from throwing toilet rolls on the pitch, this is no longer possible.
You couldn’t look in the hedge for me, see if you can find a stick or something, I’ve flushed three times but this one won’t go away and Giggsy is turning purple’.
‘You’re not fit to wipe your arse...yar – very amusing chant I am sure - now open that window you City bastards’.
Veteran goalkeeper forced to retire due to council cutbacks
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Veteran Man Utd goalkeeper Edwin Van Der Sar has confirmed he will definitely be retiring at the end of the current season, a decision he feels has been forced upon him by proposed cutbacks announced by Manchester District Council.Posted 6 years ago #
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