A new report by Ofsted published this week suggests that teachers are actually responsible for most of England’s major social problems. At a time when more and more parents are abdicating responsibility for their offspring, schools are recklessly attempting to focus on academic study. Subjects like maths, science and English are taking up to 30% of school timetables leaving so little time for PSE that most teachers, parents and student haven’t even worked out what it is yet.
Statistics show that although 20% of parents can’t be bothered to tear their gaze away from the television when their kids get home from school (up from 18% in 2005) teachers are steadfastly refusing to make their tea help them with homework and shout at them to clean their rooms.
Mrs Briggs, a parent from Cumbria said
"My little Brentford is rude, aggressive and antisocial. I’m not sure what they are teaching him at school but it’s not manners. Now bugger off, Cash in the Attic is starting."
A government spokesman insisted their new plans would ensure that all children received a well rounded education.
"More academically adept children will be able to prepare for university and a good career whereas kids from households with a T.V. over 32” in size will learn useful life skills like getting stains out of white nylon and applying for the Jeremy Kyle show."
A spokesperson for teaching unions told our reporter
"Stop swinging on your chair; would you do that at home?"