Kate Middleton's preparations for life in the Royal family are coming to a close as she is about to graduate from the world famous Frankie Boyle's finishing school.
The school was started by Frankie to fill a void in the Royal household training industry. While, most Finishing Schools for Girls emphasise the importance of being demure, doing charity work and having affairs with army Majors. Frankie's school teaches students how to insult foreign people, gays and get a comedy show commissioned by Channel 4.
Frankie said "Well to be honest I did it for a laugh! Then I got a phone call from the Royal insult legend, the Duke of Edinburgh, asking me to take Kate under my wing." A proud Frankie, talked about her progression, "When she first came to me, she'd struggle to say something rude about homosexuals in public with the Media around. Now, she's pulling some blinders on me, even I don't know if she's joking or being rude. Yesterday, she told me that I turned my wife into a Lesbian and that I should fuck off back to where I belong; Aberdeen. Fucking classic!"
The progression from a mild timid lady to a rude and insulting Royal can be heard when she was interviewed by Ethiopian reporter Makeda Abate. Makeda asked "How are your Wedding plans progressing ?" Kate replied "Wow, you don't use Clockwork powered tape recorders ! You've got batteries, amazing ! Well, you must be rich in your country."
Frankie wiping a tear from his eye, just like a father sending his daughter out into the big wide world. "She'll do me proud. Her meet and greets at Celebrity functions will be legendary. I've given her extra training material when she meets celebrities. The Royal Variety performance will never be the same again, if Rebecca Adlington and Kerry Katona show up."