Barry Glazebrook, a 48-year old insurance underwriter who works in Manchester, his wife Maria, 45, and their son Philip, 17, have revealed that they have little interest in getting involved with the local community in their new home in Weatherfield. The couple, who moved into a semi-detached house in Coronation Street last week, say they like a quiet life.
'We were glad to get the place at a knock-down price, thanks to that recent thing in the local news when a tram crashed into a nightclub and four people were killed,' said Barry. 'However, I work long hours and I only chose Weatherfield for the easy commute. Which hopefully it will be, once the trams are up and running again.'
As a near-teetotaller, Barry added that he does not envisage spending much time in the local pub, the Rover's Return. 'Besides, what with the last four landlords packing it in in acrimonious circumstances, lorries crashing into it, being burnt to the ground, an attempted murder in the cellar and arguments going on there most nights, it doesn't sound a particularly nice place,' he added.
Philip Glazebrook, who has now settled in well at the local fee-paying academy Oakhill School, said that he had no plans for romantic entanglements. 'Don't get me wrong,' he told reporters, 'I've seen that Tracey Barlow from down the road out and about and I definitely would, but I just have no time for that sort of thing with my A'levels coming up next year.'
Meanwhile, Mary Glazebrook, who has kept house for her husband since Philip's birth, said that she would consider going back to work. However, she feared that the atmosphere in the local clothing factory might be a bit claustrophobic. Furthermore, in her view, spending all the time closeted on a single small street is not healthy.
'I don't want to come across like a snob, but I really don't think I want to mix with people round here,' she said. 'I mean, take Gail McIntyre. She seemed nice enough when she said hello to me, but it turns out she has a long history of feuding with her mother-in-laws, her first husband was murdered, her second one was a serial killer who tried to kill her whole family by driving her car into a canal, her daughter got pregnant at 13, her son is a borderline psychopath, her long-last father came back after 30 years and turned out to be gay, then to top it all she married the debt-ridden father of the son's girlfriend and ended up in prison accused of his murder when he fell off a boat. Honestly, if you put that in a soap opera, people would laugh at you.'