Rick Astley, the 1980s pop sensation is to be brought back in a newly-restored version, pop producer and train-spotter Pete Waterman confirmed today.
“Digital Technology allows us to revisit some of our past successes in the vain hope that we can get people to buy them all over again”, Waterman said. “But this time we have really pushed the boat out, by digitally removing most of the flaws in the original 80s Rick.”
Astley – who you may remember promised he was never gonna give you up – will be touring the country from March. His hair has been carefully restored to its full 1987 lustre, and many of his original joints have been digitally recreated, eliminating that jerky dance that made him look like an epileptic donkey on a cattle-crossing.
The new cleaned-up Rick has not proved a universal success, however. “We loved Rick thirty years ago, flaws and all,” said Honey Frontsmith, an original fan and part of the ‘rick-rolling’ internet campaign that frankly still baffles. “This new model, well it’s just not the real thing is it? He’s more like Jar Jar Binks now, just annoying and squeaky and… oh hang on.”