Bernard Goodfellow, an avid motorist and explorer has complained today about the 100% success rate he has endured following the purchase of a SatNav from Halfords.
"I kept hearing all these stories about motorists being sent the wrong way, ending up in canals, fields, crashes etc. Now, I am one for randomly pottering around the countryside of a weekend, finding new places to go. So, having run out of ideas, and wanting to spend some time alone given that my spouse is not so keen on 'drives', I thought I would buy a SatNav and see where it took me. I remember travelling home from Halfords with my new purchase, excited about the apparently limitless opportunities to be guided off of my intended routes. Who knows where it could lead? Perhaps a previously untried pub, eatery, or scenic spot I would otherwise never have found"
Not all was as hoped though, as Bernard was keen to point out...
"I tied in my purchase with some time off work, so as to maximise the potential of my anticipated adventures. I packed clothes, a blanket, a hamper of food and a flask and what happens? I must have attempted 17 journeys in my first 4 days with my new travel companion, and not a single one ended without being safely directed to my desired destination! It is so disappointing, I can't begin to tell you"
Whilst the reporter's mumbled response of "I wish..." went unheard, Mr Goodfellow sighed, disconnected his Satnav, and drove away with the depressing acceptance that to fulfill his dreams of ending up in random locations, he would have to revert to having his wife navigate for him.