Deputy PM Nick Clegg last night denied reports that the country is getting shorter despite reports that it shrank by 0.5% in the last three months. He went on to explain that standing next to very tall people gave the wrong impression. “That Hammond chap for instance is normal height; it’s just that Clarkson is a giant”. Warming to the theme, he stated that the Speaker of the House was a good 6” but that he looked more petit as Sally Bercow is Amazonian. “Have you seen those pictures of her wearing a king-sized sheet as a Toga? She’s enormous!”
Mr. Clegg claimed that the government was still determined to create an even taller Britain by 2012. “We are serious about the Big Society, and by big we mean tall not just fat” he stated. “If we can grow just a couple of inches, the benefit to the economy will be enormous. There will be a 3% increase in the average trouser immediately”
Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls, was more sceptical saying that the anticipated increase in doorways would not happen overnight. “It will take many years of sustained growth before most people will even need to duck”.
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Clegg tells tall tales as country shrinks
(3 posts) (2 voices)
Current rating::
-
beau-jolly
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberTa!
Posted 2 years ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.