Kindle have revealed plans for their next generation platform aimed at traditional book readers who have so far proved to be resistant to the increasingly popular portable e-book reader. More formally known as DE, the dog eared version of the Kindle has been designed following extensive market research with focus groups of reluctant converts to the new technology.
In a contrast to the smart lines of the current version the DE has been fashioned from high performance materials to provide a shabby looking player with creased corners, giving the reader the comfortable impression that their book is a well thumbed edition. This blends seamlessly with the tea and coffee stains that appear randomly on the e-pages.
‘We are especially pleased with that effect,’ said a spokesman for Amazon, adding, ‘as well as the usual beverage spill marks, users can now simulate their own book stains, by simply choosing a number of modes such as chocolate, blood and ‘unknown but brown and worrying.’ We see this feature appealing to those who are used to the horrors of reading books borrowed from public libraries.’
‘A further innovation,’ he continued, ‘is the text book application for students where occasional words are underlined for no apparent reason and scribbled rants and comments such as ‘rubbish’, ‘fascist pig’ and ‘don’t forget toilet rolls’ appear in the margins in weird green ink.’
Prototypes of the DE have been a huge success with focus group users, although some appear to have forgotten the principle idea of the e-book. One tester was so pleased with the battered and creased DE that he asked for a dozen of them ‘to start his collection off.’
After the DE, Amazon will continue to develop their e-book player. Already in the pipeline is the Kiddie Kindle, a pop up version to create a world of wonder for small children. This will be followed by the adult DE-X model which promises to create a world of shame for older e-readers, featuring pages which are programmed to stick together in the more erotic chapters.