Following some of the shoddy and poorly orchestrated demonstrations that took place in the capital late last year, the Government are proposing to introduce a range of new academic courses, such as Degrees in Rioting. The radical policy will also cover Diplomas in both Striking and Protesting, and a National Certificate in Making Vague Threats in Student Bars.
Students will have the opportunity to study modules such as: lobbing bottles effectively; creating artwork for eyecatching banners and placards; and self-defence courses, specialising in tear gas tolerance and unarmed defence against baton strikes. Optional modules include looting, window-smashing, and composing mildly incendiary folk songs.
The policy has been introduced in the wake of widespread criticism on the quality of protesting displayed last year. Key incidents include the failed torching of a giant and highly flammable tree in Trafalgar Square, and the blatant deposit of incriminating fingerprint evidence on the car windows of royal dignitaries.
"We aim to restore the long lost art of protesting and rioting back to a level last seen in the sixties and seventies. Paris, 1968. Now that was a protest," sighed the UK Spokesperson for Made-up Opinions. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm running late. Ruddy tubes are closed again; industrial action don't you know."
The proposed academic courses will typically cost £15,000 per annum in fees, Government grants and hardship funds not applicable.