The high flying Parish of St Finbarr has been rocked today by the news that the recently appointed Father Jeremy Cook has had his contract terminated by mutual consent following a poor run of services. Bishop Francis gave the following press statement earlier today:
“It is with great sadness that the diocese announces that Father Jeremy Cook is to leave the Parish of St Finbarr. After an extraordinary meeting yesterday it was decided to relieve Jeremy of his duties.
“Having selected Jeremy back in June, the diocese and congregation were desperate for him to succeed and wanted to give him as much time as possible in the unforgiving environment of Church of England parish management where time is such a precious commodity.
“Unfortunately, sermons were becoming uninspiring, the performance of the choir had begun to dip and as a result congregation numbers began to fall. The final straw came in the run up to the lean 40 days of Lent when it became apparent that bookings for christenings and weddings, which supplement the already diminishing weekly collection totals, were down on previous years.
“The survival of the parish in the top flight is paramount and our focus is on finding a replacement who will be able to maintain our status within the upper division of religions in the UK.
“We would like to place on record our thanks and wishes of good luck to Jeremy in his next appointment. Amen.”
Bishop Francis also announced that the interim Parish Management Consultant would be Father Iain Dowie, who would remain at the parish until the end of the May.