In line with his quest for world domination, Simon Cowell is launching a new ITV show to rival BBC's Crimewatch.
"In much the same way that 'X-Factor' was in no way similar to 'Pop Idol', this new show is nothing like Crimewatch" claimed Cowell when it was pointed out that a programme already existed using the forum of TV to seek the publics' help in fighting crime.
"This really is very different" he said, "We plan to show such things as CCTV footage of criminals to see if anyone can recognise them, and we will also seek to re-enact more serious crimes, to jog memories and get the public involved in assisting with un-solved crimes. We will be breaking the crimes down into categories: Boys, Girls, Aged 25 and over, and those committed by Groups. So you see, it is completely different and not at all similar" enthused a defiant Cowell.
It is still relatively early stages in the planning, but an ITV source revealed that the public would be charged to phone the show with information about the crimes shown. Additionally, viewers would be able to download the footage of their favourite re-enactments.
The Cowell machine is understood to also be working on "I'm a musician, get me out of here", "Strictly Come Street Dancing" and a Football show "Game of the Day" amongst others.