A fresh wave of unease fell on the markets today with news that the limited edition orange Kit Kat has fallen in value by almost 25% over the course of just one day‘s trading.
'It’s been a big shock for the financial sector' admitted Nigel Sparkes of investment bankers Westwood Holdings plc 'The limited edition Kit Kats have been one of the safest investments for those seeking a low-risk tax free yield over the medium-to-long term. It was assumed that the strictly limited production run guaranteed them a solid resale value – that and their deliciously orangey taste. But that’s all changed now, Mint, Dark, Chocolate and Caramac flavours look set to take a tumble too when markets reopen, along with first edition Caramel Wispas – it’s not going to be pretty.'
The Kit Kat crash, already being referred to by pundits as ‘Orange Wednesday’ is only the latest limited run foodstuff to take a pounding on the markets: Walkers ‘World Cup’ crisp flavours halved in value in 7 hours - with the sole exception of the ultra-rare North Korean ‘potato’ flavour.
Meanwhile, last week’s collapse in the collectors’ edition Marmite series - featuring witty Marmite-based wordplays on the jar - nearly destabilised world markets single-handedly; collapse was only averted when Japan agreed to manufacture a further limited run of Bovril flavoured Quavers.
'This is an unsettling period for everybody in the square mile.' confided Martin Croft, editor of Money Week magazine 'Many people have been using these collectible snacks as their pension plan. They now face an uncertain future. I’m just glad that I've ploughed my savings into multiple copies of that special edition Alexandra Burke CD with six extra live tracks.'