Britain’s workforce and economy has been thrown into chaos as millions of male workers were sacked for breaching their company’s IT ethics guidelines.
After the sacking of Sky Sports’ presenter Andy Gray and his associated comments, emails flowed between workmates of a highly amusing but misogynistic nature. References to kitchens, domestic chores and the fairer sex’s ability to understand the complex football offside laws were in abundance. The offside law, previously only thought possible to be understood via the Y-chromosome, was reported to be the biggest offender.
IT departments monitoring email traffic quickly gathered a list of offenders. Unions have objected strongly to the dismissals but fear they’ll be powerless to overturn the actions. So far most business have seen some disruption to services but have been mainly unaffected. Doctors have voiced concern that the, now almost exclusively, female workforce may suffer from dehydration though as there will be nobody to change the water cooler bottle in most offices.
One employer, the Church of England, said, ‘We won’t tolerate any type of sex discrimination. We found that 95% of male workers had sent emails we believed to be offensive to women, and we had to let them go. The 5% who hadn’t sent offensive mails were also sacked. As Christians we can’t have any poofs working here.’