The cause of the recent Downing Street rat infestation has been traced to Eric Pickles. A Downing street source has revealed that the minister for Communities and Local Government very rarely turns up for a cabinet meeting without a kebab and he isn't a tidy eater. "We have had to employ extra cleaners to deal with the mess left around his seat. He dons a large plastic bib before Cabinet begins to protect his clothing from the various fats and sauces that dribble down his chin, but the desk and floor around him, along with his colleagues either side, take the brunt of the shower of crumbs and half chewed food that he sprays out."
"Ian Duncan Smith has complained several times of his suede shoes being ruined by grease from discarded remnants of the KFC family bucket that Pickles regularly consumes, and poor Chris Huhne sitting opposite quite often has to deal with oniony belches directed straight at him accompanied by an offer to 'pull my finger'." said the source.
With Pickles producing such vast quantities of food waste it is no surprise that rats are being encouraged. Environmental Health officers are reluctant to put traps down as Pickles has been known to find the peanut butter bait irresistable and has required hospital treatment on at least three occasions following ingesting poison. Instead they are relying on using air rifles to shoot the rodents as they leave their lair. Michael Gove has been asked to clearly identify himself when leaving Downing street to avoid any confusion.