Top BBC producers are going to court to challenge the claims of an infamous ‘blue’ comedian.
Ron ‘Rumpy’ Ronaldson states that his expletive-laden live act is ‘Too blue for the b*ggerin' Beeb.’ The claim first appeared on posters for his 1982 show W*nk Outsider and has remained a fixture of every billboard and video since, including 1996’s Jacques Twat – Live in Calais and 2008’s Strictly Come Sh*gging.
Ron has been a regular fixture in theatres for thirty years now; he is loved by thousands for his casual racism and sexism as well as his catchphrases: ‘F*ckee b*llocks!’, ‘W*nky panky!’ and ‘Not with my donkey you don’t!’ - the latter remains a staple of his pantomime work. However the comedian has never once appeared on TV - an absence that he has long worn as a badge of honour.
It's a badge that the BBC are keen to divest him of: 'The only way Rumpy could be too blue for the BBC would be if he held his breath for a bloody long time!' quipped Crispin Bateman the BBC's head of light entertainment. 'Seriously, he even had a pilot show turned down by BBC3 for being too crap - now that's crap!'
Ronaldson, in a rare publishable interview with The Star, claimed that he makes comedy for ‘good solid working class folk‘:
‘My audience don’t want any of that middle class PC shite that Auntie Beeb does. I’m not politically correct, I’m politically incorrect, me! ... Did you see what I did there?’
Commentators believe that the BBC are taking Ronaldson to court to deflect recent criticism that their comedy output is ‘stiflingly middle class’. The charge follows the recent departure of Glaswegian comedian Freddie McNasty to Channel 4, and the failure of the new James Corden comedy vehicle ‘Who Ate All the Pies?’, described by critics as ‘a bit like East Enders, only not so funny.’ The BBC have promised to act on the criticisms, appointing an 'Edginess Tsar' and sending all comedy scriptwriters to a compulsory seminar entitled ‘Acceptable offensiveness for the C2,D,E demographic’ led by comedian Marcus Brigstocke.
Meanwhile Mr Ronaldson says that he will take his fight to keep the ‘Too blue for the Beeb’ claim on his DVDs as far as the European Court. ‘There’s no way Rumpy can afford to lose this one’ claimed Nick Penrose, Ron’s lawyer ‘if word gets out that his routine really is too crap for even BBC3 then he really is b*ggered.’