East End gangsters, acting on behalf of West Ham United, have stormed the Olympic Stadium and have taken it over ‘with immediate effect’, jeopardising its use for London 2012 and telling Tottenham Hotpur to ‘come and have a go if they think they are hard enough’.
The future of the stadium was to be decided next month, with both West Ham and Spurs making competing bids for its use after the games. However, this interjection by a group fronted by Ray Winston has left 2012 Chief Executive, Sebastian Coe, more stunned than at any time since he saw Steve Ovett on his shoulder in the 1500m Final of the 1980 Moscow Olympics.
“This just really isn’t cricket” said Coe “.. and maybe not athletics either, unless we can detain these hoodlums and get our stadium back. We have gone through all the appropriate planning permission and that was the time to object. I haven’t seen any of Mr Winston’s films but I gather that these aren’t channels frequently used by mobsters.
But Winston, hit back: “Listen, I’ve got nothing against the double gold medallist, even if he does talk a bit posh. The geezer seems ok and we don’t want any spilled claret (and blue). But this is our manor and this is just us having a quiet word in a few shells, like. Why should Hammers fans get a second hand stadium stinking of burgers? But I am a reasonable man and we may still let them have a few running races around the corner flags, as long as they don’t take too many liberties. We don’t want no sand pits dug in the penalty area.”
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West Ham gangsters in premature takeover of Olympic Stadium
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