David Cameron personally arrived in Halifax today to congratulate 93 year old former carpenter George Salby and proclaim him a national treasure. Salby recently shot to fame after discussion with friends revealed he had no idea who Victoria Beckham was, which struck a whistful chord with many British citizens.
David Cameron delivered a rousing address to the a crowd of Salby wellwishers. "Salby's story tells us that it is possible to endure in the face of seemingly impossible odds. All around us the monster of the media writhes, seeking to make us aware of Victoria Beckham. Salby has shown one can both live in the UK and have no idea who she is, which we hope will help stem the tide of emigration. But Salby is not simply a relic of a bygone age. Salby represents a possible future to aspire to. By passing down knowledge of the way he has lived, there is hope that our children can emulate him and one day, there will be a Britain where no one knows of Victoria Beckham any longer, and the shadow is lifted once and for all from our fair isles."
Salby attributes his success to spending all his time at the horse track. Among his other achievements, he stopped watching Monty Python the moment John Cleese left and has never let a Black Eyed Peas song get as far as the chorus before switching it off.