300,000 purchasers of the Apple iPad have been collectively unable to work out what the purpose of the device is. Bafflement proceeded as users were variously unable to surf on a train, type in comfort, or prop it up to watch a movie.
Apple were describing the device as 'like 21st century masquerade - a search for a kind of golden hare, but less rewarding. And vastly more profitable for us, of course.'
An upgrade is promised in the coming days, which will turn the pointless little devices back into laptops.