The unnamed foetus in the centre of Victoria Beckham’s womb was said to be delighted yesterday after the former girl band star ordered an extra carrot to accompany her side salad at an exclusive Los Angeles restaurant.
News broke of the pregnancy shortly after the Beckhams settled down to their usual Saturday night meal at the plush Spago eatery in Beverley Hills. After David had ordered his usual chips, beans and sausage, Victoria stunned restaurant staff by ordering a hugely calorific vinaigrette to go with her mixed leaf salad.
As the minutes passed, staff looked on awestruck as Victoria remained in her seat and began tentatively picking at the food instead of excusing herself in order to spend the next half hour vomiting the stodgy green mixture back into the nearest toilet bowl.
Fellow diners at the $2000-a-head restaurant, which caters for high-end eating disorders, became outraged as Victoria ate not one but two whole rocket leaves and began hungrily scooping the glutinous dressing onto a spoon before forcing the contents into her greedy mouth.
“It was gross,” said glamour model Letitia Anderson, who was sat at a nearby table.
“I was like – oh my god – is she really gonna finish that? “
But a further bombshell was about to be dropped as Mrs Beckham summoned Head Waiter Mario Antonini and cheekily ordered the main course of sculpted raw carrot.
“She complained that she was still hungry. It's the first time she has ever complained since she asked me to turn the air conditioning down after it blew her across the restaurant. That's when I decided to call the paramedics.“
Half an hour later LA Doctor Lyle Anderson broke the happy news to staff and diners that Victoria had in fact been impregnated by a copious wad of her husband David’s semen.
“It looks like she’s eating for two now,” said a relieved Mr Antonini.
“And there was me thinking she was just a greedy fat cow. “