With nearly all iPhone owners in the habit of crapping on about all the marvelous things their phone can do it was time for a new app to remind them not to be tossers. The app is designed to start automatically as soon as the phrase "have you seen my new iPhone?" is uttered. The owner is then allowed to demonstrate three features of the phone before a red warning light appears with the words "Potential knobhead" on the screen. After five features the phone starts to buzz and another warning light with "Wanker warning" appears.
As soon as the phrase "I don't know how I managed before I had my iPhone" is uttered the iPhone will emit a loud groan and a sticky liquid will be ejected into the face of the owner.