Sir Alex Ferguson the frugal Scottish Premiership manager has finally called time on the piece of gum he has constantly chewed at football matches for the last 25 years.
The gum in question is thought to be three pieces of Wrigley's extra peppermint and started it’s career in football when Sir Alex became the manager of Manchester United in 1986.
At a press conference this morning the gum confessed that in recent years he had become increasingly concerned about the future ambitions of Ferguson’s mouth, especially as Ferguson has embarked upon a war of silence against BBC sport.
“That was the turning point for me.” Said the gum. “Week in and week out I was featuring on Match of the Day, Champions League highlights, Sky Sports and FA cup round ups, the Sir Alex falls out with the BBC and then I’m only appearing on selected highlights. I have ambition, I want to be at the fore front of Football management coverage and I’m not getting that anymore with Sir Alex.” Explained the gum for it’s shock transfer request earlier today.
Rumours abound around Old Trafford that a transfer to Real Madrid, AC Milan and Juventus are in the offing but it's likely that the gum will probably turn up in the New Year at a Club Managed by one of Sir Alex’s protégés.
Steve Bruce and Brian Kidd could be front runners in securing the services of the gum.
Old Trafford have been quick to point out that they have already secured the services of three pieces of Spearmint ice as replacements.
“These new guys, have more legs in them and have a more dynamic flavouring than the old piece, the Sky’s the limit as to how far and long they will be around.” Said a club spokesman.
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Shock as Ferguson puts trusty gum on Transfer List.
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simonjmr
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
Etiquette: include *RE-POST* in title line. Also, you forgot the comma between 'Scottish' and 'Premiership'. You also forgot to include the gag about his chewing gum losing its flavour on the goalpost overnight (is Lonnie Donnegan not popular these days?) and the one about it getting a transfer either to Newcastle or to Ebay. Apart from that, no comment.
Posted 2 years ago #
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