Formula One driver, Michael Schumacher has announced his decision to step down from the sport after what he describes as a clear breach of the Strassenverkehrsordnung.
Schumi, had been driving down a side street in the Neustadt area of Bremen when he observed that his speedometer had strayed over the regulation 30km/h by a full one kilometre per hour.
‘I had reached down to the glove compartment to retrieve a CD – Part 63 of Wagner’s Ring cycle – and when my attention returned to the dashboard, I noticed that, regrettably, I had strayed over the permitted speed for that road.
My mistake went unpunished due to a lack of adequate speed monitoring apparatus in that particular area, but it is clearly a matter of conscience. I broke the rules and for that I am truly sorry,’ he told fans.
Sadly, this is not the first occasion on which the former world champion has shown a flagrant disregard for the Strassenverkehrsordnung. Some years ago, during a protracted bout of Weltschmerz, Schumacher admits to pulling out onto a main road with the intention of turning left and failing to indicate. ‘ I also forgot to check my inside mirror,’ he claimed. ‘This produced a state of bewilderment in the driver behind me. I cannot turn the clock back but I hope my current decision gives him some comfort.’
‘Then there was the time I was parked in a quiet side road on which there was a total absence of cars but there were some children playing. I was, by my estimation, one minute late for a dentist’s appointment and, in my haste, I moved off from a stationary position whilst neglecting to check my blind spot. Nobody was killed on that occasion but it could have been so very different’
‘Fortunately, I arrived at the surgery on time.’
Many in the world of Formula One have been stunned by Schumacher’s decision. On hearing the news , veteran commentator Murray Walker remarked:
‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’