The annual Round Robin letter from the Grimbinos reports that New York's most infamous Italian family has gone from strength to strength in 2010 and are eagerly anticipating 2011 - touch wood!
The year got off to a flying start, reports the unsolicited letter that came with a Xmas card. John - the Nonstick Don - Grimbino is settling in nicely in his new home, a high security state penitentiary in upstate New York. He's already amassed a record number of privileges and is shaking up the place, according to the round robin's author, Tony - the Round Robin - Fuggedi. "John got a very nice job in the prison library, which he's quietly pleased with. Knowing John, he'll soon have everyone in that library running scared!' he quips. 'Look out you prison punks! John's in town,' he adds.
Meanwhile, cousin Vinnie has jacked in the numbers racket, and is forging ahead in a new career in grey market pharmaceuticals. He's making more money than he knows what to do with and his Uncle Vito is having to help him launder it. 'I'm a victim of my own fukken sucess,' said Vinnie.
Talking of success, cousin Joseppi was due to become a made man this autumn, but the ceremony appears to have been put off. We're told that something went wrong - 'they could have been more specific!' comments Round Robin Tony - and Joe seems to have gone away for a while, although nobody seems to know where. Still, Tony ends this chapter on a positive note. 'Fingers crossed, we could still see a promotion for the Grimbrino family,' he says.
Of course, there have been some sad occasions this year. Lucky Luka got whacked, unfortunately, after a disrespecting one of the Carbano family. Sadly, his henchman, Vincenzo, was also caught up in the same incident. Ho hum, it happens to us all, sadly. Still, it was a great opportunity to bring the family together. Let's hope next time we meet under happier circumstances.
The twins, Luigi and Giovanni, are coming on leaps and bounds. Luigi performed his first hit and Giovanni took the rap for him - until the case was thrown out of court after a mistake in the identity parade. 'Those twins are going to be giving the police the run around for some time to come!' says the Round Robin.
More good news came when the case against Johnny Veuvio finally collapsed after several witnesses saw sense and decided to stop playing silly buggers.
And last but not least, The New Jersey Garbage company is holding up very nicely indeed. A number of hostile members of the local authority have been persuaded to change their minds, and this year could see a record number of refuse collection contracts coming our way!
It could be a great year, ends the letter.
'Would be great to catch up with you all," Tony signs off 'Not least so we can collect your protection money!:)'
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Xmas Round Robin letter reports another great year for the Grimbino mafia family
(5 posts) (4 voices)
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Posted 10 years ago #
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Oh puh-lease! What a load of rubbish!
And it stereotypes Italian Americans
Posted 10 years ago # -
What an excellent idea - great stuff, should walk onto the FP.
Wish I'd thought of it.Posted 10 years ago # -
Think you should write a novel! The Grimbinos?
Posted 10 years ago # -
Well, Mr Ickster, the field is crowded. There are several remarkable novels and movies on the same theme, and yet, for some inexplicable reason, readers have not mananged to make that creative leap from the page of the novel to the Front Page of the gnuspaper and lift their enlightened gaze out to life beyond. As a result of what must be referred to as literacy impairment, here we are today.
It reminds me of a nightmare I had a while back: an insuperable mound of books. Nothing to read.
Posted 10 years ago #
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