A stickerbook has been withdrawn following accusations that it 'can't possibly compete with the reality of footballer's affairs and scandals'.
Where once the 'Gascoigne in rehab' or 'Cantona fan-kick' used to be part of the daily playground swapsie ritual, youngsters today find keeping up with the constant lover's revelations, drug taking in nightclubs, lapdancer spitroasts, getting caught speeding on the M6 and illegally allowing terrorist cells to operate from within their mansions too much.
"The books are out-of-date before they're printed" complained one seven-year-old collector. "There's no point in swapping anything - you have to tippex everything three or four times during a season. You might as well have blank stickers which you can write yourself."
WAG top trumps, on the other hand, is proving very popular. Especially among footballers themselves desperate to identify a more powerful model.