The diaries of Dame Geraldine Childcot, ex-lady in waiting to her Majesty Queen Elizabeth are to be published in the New Year by the Daily Mail. Early leaks have already provided one sensational insight into the mind of the Monarch and her persistent denial of high honour to the tuxedoed scarecrow cum entertainer, Bruce Forsyth CBE.
Dame Childcot recollects a Royal Variety Performance in 1957, hosted by Forsyth. She says in her diary entry for the day – “had to sit through the most ghastly evening of japery tonight at the Coliseum but her Majesty was having a wonderful time. Half way through she turned to me in the Royal box and said, ‘Who knew that Julie Andrews was that white and Max Bygraves had a tattoo of the assault on Mafeking on his left forearm!’ It was really only afterwards in the post-show line-up that the mood soured. That foul man Forsyth was introducing her Majesty to the various performers and it was going swimmingly until he got to Eartha Kitt. Well, as you know, her Majesty was a wren and motor mechanic during the war and like her mother, was greatly acquainted with the more fruity language of the East End. The Queen naturally assumed that Forsyth was asking her if she wanted a shit and really it was all down hill from there...I only thank God that James Hunt didn’t appear on the show until the 70’s.’
Royal watchers suggest that this theory may also explain why others associated with the soon to be dead host of Strictly Come Dancing have also failed to be honoured. Dame Childcot postulates in another diary entry – ‘If I am to be frank, the blonde, dopey eyed, sappy charisma-lite Tess Daley with her twinkling and half-lipped asinine smile may remind her Majesty of Diana. Equally, her husband Vernon Kay is rumoured to have a more than passing resemblance to a favoured hunting beagle that Princess Margaret beat to death with the ceremonial shovel used to dig up the first sod of the M1 motorway!’
