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All war and conflict ends at Pope's insistence

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Started 2 years ago by dogwheels
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dogwheels

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New York - The UN has confirmed that all war, conflict and diplomatic stand-offs in the world have ended at the request of Pope Benedict.

The Pontiff made the demand during his Christmas address, said the UN, and all conflict ceased an hour later.

A spokesperson at the Vatican said: 'His Holiness has been especially worried about the ongoing conflict between the Bloods and the Crips but thought he should try and kill as many birds with one stone.

'It was actually one of our interns who first came up with the idea of demanding ALL conflicts be ended and it just ran from there.'

Perhaps the most significant conflict to be cancelled is the Korean conflict, with leaders from both sides planning a trip to Disneyland to work things out.

Posted 2 years ago #
Dumbnews

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funnier with Bono IMO.

Posted 2 years ago #
MrChigleysAunt

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Meanwhile, the Archbishop of Canterbury called on the rich to share their burden of the economic downturn. "This just shows what the leaders of two of the World's great faiths can do if they work together" said a joint spokesman. "The next step is to persuade Islam, to call for an end to sickness in the World and then we'll really be smokin'"

Posted 2 years ago #
Malcum eggs

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if only .

Posted 2 years ago #
Trickster

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The really smokin 'joint' spokesman then suggested everyone take a trip to Amsterdam, to chill out.

Posted 2 years ago #
Trickster

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reckon this would work better with Bono.

Posted 2 years ago #
Hunter F. Thompson

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It's problematic, though: the Ten Commandments are 3rd millennia BCE baggage from the wisdom literature and the bits about lying and murder weren't under discussion at Nicea. It was how best to lie and how best to murder Truth which preoccupied the Councils.

Posted 2 years ago #
MrChigleysAunt

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But the whole point is that the Pope is the one who called for World peace - not Bono. Similarly, the Archbishop of Canterbury called for the rich to take on their share of the burden of the recession. So, that's two trite and pointless gestures by supposedly intelligent leaders. They're meant to lead, not talk like contestants in a beauty contest.
On the other hand, we expect Bono to blather nonsense.

Posted 2 years ago #
Trickster

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I like the idea of a Miss World Leader beauty contest...ammo for an article?

Posted 2 years ago #
dogwheels

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.
Is the Bono thing something that's already been done here? If so, I have fallen into the trap of submitting an idea that wad before my time in this forum. I thought Bono was about poverty not war, could be wrong.

I do stand by the use of the Pope though, in that he's this little old man who only wears white and lives in dome. He gets the world's attention to say one thing a year and he pluggs for something totally impossible that's never going to happen. Unless he's a massive Star Trek fan and believes in Gene Roddenbury's vision of human society's evolution. It's even more bizarre given that a lot of people fighting wars are not even Catholic.

Maybe at the Vatican brainstorm they considered but ruled out 'Always wear sunscreen' or 'Be true to yourself, man'.

Bono to sue Pope for stealing his 'thing'.

Posted 2 years ago #

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