The worldwide multimillion dollar Porn industry has today admitted that they have run out of sexual positions, fetishes and fantasies to film.
An increasingly comprehensive backcatalogue of "grot", etchings and video 8 recordings have finally been cross-referenced and for the first time respected Porn Scholars have now concluded that there is no need to make anymore "as it's already been done".
"It's disheartening to the Porn actors and actresses knowing that every position, combination, hole and proclavity has been done, filled stuff and rogered. There is nothing to motivate these stars and starlets anymore. A few years ago you could aim for a triple bukkake, prince albert girl on girl and a pig combo, but its been done, even the extreme perversions such as Felching crochet, Buntfunting and Fronteriang, have been done to death"
"What we are now expecting is that all this raw talent will have to now look elsewhere for employment, actors who are used to playing plumbers will actually have to train as plumbers, and some of the actresses who are used to playing lesbian attorneys well, to be frank they haven't got a chance in the real world. Neither has those helpless, vulnerable girls who are easily seduced in to three way anal sex by postmen, plumbers or poolmen"
A conference will be called by industry experts in the coming months to hold golden thought showers to discover new ways of making porn.