The fossil-fuel industry is set to be crippled this Christmas after an international strike of miners was announced in protest over the stigma associated with coal at this time of year.
Gwenwin Jones, who represents Welsh miners at an international level, said: ‘Every year, small children around the world are told that if they are naughty, Santa will leave them a lump of coal in their stocking.
‘Well we’ve had enough – we work all year round to dig this stuff out the ground just for it to be ridiculed every Christmas.’
Miners all over the world are set to put down their pick-axes on Dec 23rd and stay in the pub drinking ale and eating pies until Jan 5th. The strike means power stations around the globe could fall silent on Christmas Day, leaving homes without power.
The government has already advised members of the public to stock-up on battery-powered DVD players and solar-powered microwaves.
Mr Jones pointed to the recent world-wide celebrations surrounding the freed Chilean miners as an example of people’s hypocrisy.
He continued: ‘Everyone was all whooping and cheering when those boys came out of the mine but they would have sooner left them down there if it meant getting a lump of the black stuff on Dec 25th, it’s disgusting.
‘But let me ask you this – was Bob Cratchit complaining when Mr Scrooge gave him some extra coal for his fire? No, he wasn’t. In fact he was really quite chuffed.’
The miners are also planning to picket the North Pole, base of mythical present-giver Santa, in an attempt to change attitudes about coal. Mr Clause, they say, is largely responsible for the stigma surrounding coal, having started up the tradition of giving it to bad children.
‘He has a lot to answer for, so let’s see how he and his elves get on this year without any coal to burn on their fire.’