A spokescow for the bovine lobby group, UKCA, has announced its members have voted to petition the US supreme court in hopes of expediting the death warrants of all death-row inmates. In a statement released on Friday the UKCA clarified their position.
"The recent shortage of sodium thiopental, a drug used in lethal injections in the US, has caused pentobarbital supplies, normally used for animal euthanasia, to be sent to Oklahoma and other US states that still carry out the death penalty. This has resulted in several of our members having their euthanasia postponed until the New Year.
Although our 2001 congress voted unanimously against the US death penalty, on clear moral grounds, the prospect of one more Christmas at home with the calfs has led to a majority of our members overturning this ruling. If the planned January executions are brought forward in the US there's a much better chance we can all enjoy a nice turkey dinner."
'Daisy' (not her real name) was one of the UKCA members in favour of the death penalty. She says "To be honest, I thought the so called 'die and let live' vote in 2001 was fixed."
Daisy blames a left wing group, A Bolt to the Head Is OK but Keep Your Dog on a Leash!. "they are seriously delusional. I blame all that grass".
No Supreme Court judges were available for comment.