Reports are emerging from Downing Street that the coalition government is in danger of collapse over disagreements over whom to have Christmas dinner with this year.
A leaked memo from David Cameron to Nick Clegg entitled 'Xmas Dinner 2010 Plans' revealed that the Conservative leader wants to spend the day with the Tories, probably at 'Granny Thatcher's house with Uncle John and Aunty Norma'. However, one of Mr Clegg's advisers has confirmed that he is none too keen on this suggestion, arguing that 'we always visit your family. They don't even like me or my possibly left of centre political views. Why can't we go and see mine for a change’.
Mr Clegg is thought to favour spending Christmas day at his Uncle Paddy's house instead. 'That way we won't have to sit through that boring Queen's speech or spend the evening playing Risk and trying to explain to Granny Thatcher that you can't just keep invading the Falklands. Cousin Charles has even promised not to overdo it on the sherry this year' he argued.
The coalition has so far managed to get through many tough political crises since its formation in May, such as economic cuts and student fees, but is now in serious disarray over the issue of Christmas Day, with further festivity related decisions such as whether to have turkey or goose, whether to open presents in the morning or after lunch and whether to watch Eastenders or All Star Family Fortunes threatening to split the parties apart.
The Prime Minister has however issued a statement in an attempt to end speculation, saying 'Nick and I have agreed that we will spend Christmas Day with the Tories and Boxing Day with the LibDems.' Mr Clegg added that 'compromises need to be made', leading to widespread criticism within his political family that he had backed down and sold out having assured them before the election that he'd be spending Christmas with them this year.
Some LibDems have also reminded Mr Clegg about the fateful Christmas in 1987 when David Steel and David Owen ended up not talking for months after arguing about who’s turn it was to wash up after Christmas dinner. 'I know lots of people have bitter memories about that' acknowledged Mr Clegg, 'but this is something completely different. Dave has assured me that he's spoken to his family about calling me 'that man', and I'm sure no-one's going to slip their Brussels sprouts onto my plate when I'm not looking. I'm fully behind this plan and am looking forward to listening to Boris's jokes about pulling crackers and being a breast and leg man.'
'I hope they don't expect me to look grateful when Granny Thatcher gives me that 'I loved the Poll Tax' sweater I know she's been knitting though' he added.