David Cameron today unveiled plans for new legislation which will double the time limit during which it is acceptable to blame the previous government for the nation’s problems.
In a statement to parliament, Mr Cameron said: “In the past, a period of five years or so may indeed have been sufficient time for a government to get its act together and take responsibility for the state of the nation. This coalition government, however, faces a crisis unprecedented in modern history, in that none of us have much idea what we are doing. Therefore we consider it necessary to be able to blame the last lot for the mess we’re in until at least 2020 and possibly beyond.”
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg faced an angry reaction to the proposals from his own party, who maintain that the new legislation may breach pledges made before the election. Mr Clegg responded with the statement: “I gelieve in doing what’s gest for Gritain. Gissa gottla geer”, while Mr. Cameron drank a glass of water.
If the changes are successful, it is expected that the government would seek to pass further legislation to widen the scope of what could be blamed on the previous incumbents. A source close to coalition policy makers said: “We don’t believe that the Labour government should just be held accountable for the national debt or the state of the global economy. Our vision is of a future where the people of Dave’s Big Society are free to hold Gordon Brown personally responsible for everything from Grandma’s chilblains to our rubbish football team and nil points in the Eurovision Song Contest”.