The British Wordage Society, the body responsible for overseeing the use of weird and funny-sounding words, announced that today was the official start of the twixt season. It marks the first time people are officially authorised to use the word ‘twixt’, although its usage remains strongly linked to a seasonal context.
“From today, it’s perfectly acceptable to say something like ‘perhaps we could meet up twixt Christmas and the New Year’”, said the society’s spokesman Trevor Anderson. “Although the requirement remains that you have to signal that you’re using the word ironically, perhaps through elaborate over-pronunciation”.
Usage in other contexts remains forbidden. “No amount of irony can stop a phrase such as ‘I’m caught twixt a rock and a hard place’ sound like it’s being uttered by a complete imbecile”. Several south London estate agents are being held on suspicion of continuing to describe properties as being ‘twixt the Commons’.
“This is unacceptable,” said Anderson.”The only permitted usage is in the aforementioned seasonal context.”
Barry Gatfield, a spokesman for the British Society for the Abolition of Antiquated Words, took issue with Anderson’s use of the word ‘aforementioned’. “How can they pontificate on what words we can and cannot use when they come up with ‘aforementioned’? They really get my goat.”
A spokesman for the Ruminant Defence League was quick to criticise Gatfield’s ‘casual linkage of these wonderful creatures with something annoying and intolerable.’
The twixt season comes to an end on January 5th in the year of our Lord 2011.