I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones we've never had
Where the children don't believe
And you're robbed on Christmas Eve
And your misery never seems to end
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
You've lost your job and now your house
You can still have fun
If you put down that gun
Just listen to the rhyming negotiator
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
And how it hurts the sick and old
They'll be cold and starving
While the rich are carving
It won't be long before they pass away
I'm dreaming of a yellow Christmas
When all the drunks piss in the snow
There'll be lots of fighting
Cheap and tacky lighting
Another indiscriminate killing to behold
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like they do in Helmand Province
Where you step on a present
And end up in heaven
And wonder what the hell is it all for
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
To help me forget about the cuts
Just wait until the summer
It will be a bummer
With rioting and striking every day
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
When they were warm and full of cheer
Now it's all food and beer
And shooting of the deer
And it'll be the same again New Year
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones of Christmas past
When you sat around the tele
With a fully stuffed up belly
And you were right royally entertained
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Biscuit post I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be....