A British accident insurance company received an unusual claim today from a failed suicide bomber named Mohammed uk up.
The claim read as follows,
The day started as normal as I set out to cause mass murder and mayhem in an Islamic pledge to my jihadists brothers in a busy european metropolis city centre full of western infadels. I said my last prayers to allah and strapped on my back pack full of homemade explosives and made out towards my target.
I never suspected anything could go wrong at this point as I boarded the bus bound for the city centre but as I sat down on the back seat to my amazement the trigger switch for the explosive went off prematurely and blew off my right leg.
You never believe this sort of thing will happen to you following you normal daily pursuits but how was I to know that trigger switch was over sensitive. The bomb went off and I was the only one who got hurt because there wasn't anybody else on the bus.
The claim is being treated with caution by the company but as a representative of insurers said 'as he is one of our policy holders he is entitled to have his claim treated fairly. I know accepting a suicide bomber as a customer will not be seen as popular with many people but we thought it would be money for old rope as the last thing we did expect was for him to still be around to make the claim in the first place'.