German war historians today unearthed a rare 78 rpm copy of former nazi dictator Adolf Hitler singing the popular christmas hit jingle bells.
'We found the record stored at the bottom of a box marked "miscellaneous war stuff" in a forgotten tea chest stored here at the Berlin War Museum' said Professor of History Otto Schochemule ' we have played the recording and although the sound quality is still good the same could not be said of Hitler's voice which sounds like a cross between one of his Nuremburg speeches and a tone deaf group of German cats sceeching out Deutschland über alles'.
The recording was said to be made in an attempt too boost the morale of troops besieged in Stalingrad for the christmas of 1942.
'We believe the recording was intercepted by the attacking Russian forces before it got through to the besieged Germans in Stalingrad' continued the Professor ' on hearing it they decided to let it through anyway as the quality of the singing was so bad that they thought it would have the opposite effect on them'.
Indeed it did have the opposite effect as a transcript of comments made by a russian field commander confirmed which read ' Hitler's voice was more terrible than Ivan. His notes were as bum as a russian bears arse and judging from the wails of disapproval coming from over the Volga then the Germans were in agreement'.
The moral of the defending Germans was indeed shot to pieces as after three months of living off rotten horse meat and dead rats Hitlers version of jingle bells finished off the Wermacht in Stalingrad leading them to surrendering within six weeks of receiving it.
On a lighter note a copy of the recording has been sent to Simon Cowell in England for his musical approval ' if I was Hitler, I wouldn't get my hopes up of an alternative career in show business' mused the laid back cock sure Cowell ' but as Kraftwerk is the only decent thing ever to come out of Germany since Beethoven then there may of been some hope for him especially if we'd have given him a Leona Lewis track to cover on the german equivalent of britains got talent'.