Several students were still recovering in hospital last night from trauma following their encounter in Westminster with a vehicle containing Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, last week.
Around 15 students were reported to have had a clear view of the Duchess. Those closest to the vehicle suffered severe shock and have been detained over the weekend in St Thomas’ Hospital.
19 year old Rob Davies was one of the first to see the Duchess. Still showing visible signs of shock, he told reporters. “It was horrible. She looked straight at me. She really has got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle. I saw her very clearly through the car window. She’s mingin’. It looks like her face has been set on fire and put out with a shovel. I was totally unprepared for this – it was very distressing”.
Fellow student Becky Hamilton escaped serious trauma after averting her eyes as the car passed the protestors. “I was one of the lucky ones,” she said from the safety of her parents’ home in Hampstead. “I managed to look away just as the vehicle approached. But I’m told that a bag of spanners or a smacked arse would look quite alluring in comparison”
Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson apologised to protestors for his force’s handling of the incident. “We meant to send the Duchess’s car down the usual network of dark alleys and dimly lit back streets to avoid her being seen, but we were a bit stretched.”
“I can sympathise with what these students have gone through. She does have a face like a robber’s dog. I caught a glimpse of her myself one day and my God, what a munter.”
A spokesman for Prince Charles issued the following statement last night “One apologises for the distress one has caused, but one would point out that it is unnecessary for one to look at one’s mantelpiece when one is poking one’s fire.”