With the Christmas break up set to coincide with the next outbreak of severe wintry weather conditions, the government have decided to break with tradition and bring christmas day forward one week to avoid road carnage on break up day.
Roads minster Phil Hammond attempted to justify the decision 'this might upset a lot of people especially in the church but it's safety that's paramount. If our lord jesus was looking down from above then i'm sure he wouldn't mind being born a week earlier for just this one occasion to avoid another bout of travel chaos involving people in ford fiestas skidding off roads that even a snow plough would avoid like the plague '.
The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams was not impressed with Hammonds idea to move the worlds most famous religious festival forward a week describing it as ' sacreligious and blasphemous. If our good lord was looking down upon us, then i'm sure the last thing he'd be is sympathetic to the idea of avoiding travel chaos. To turn on it's head centuries of celebration because of some clown getting stuck in the snow in a nissan micra on the A1 is quite unacceptable in the extreme. The birth of Jesus is the 25th of December and not a week before even if it does mean saving a load of naive fools from attempting to get through weather conditions that even an eskimo would decline'.
The Archbishop had to leave at this point as he had an important meeting with an insurance assessor who was due to look at his car after he had crashed in to a lamp post last week after slipping from an icey road just outside Canterbury.
An embarrased Dr Williams quipped ' i'm sure becasue it's me Jesus would let that one go'.