Cow-ell, Cow-ell, the angels did sing.
"It's about time someone finally stepped forward with a real god to worship - me. Who else in this country can turn crap into money, turn someone's life around, or command millions to acts of weekly worship?"
The X-MAS model has run it's time, like Kajagoogoo. X-FACTOR-MAS is going to take everyone as high as my belt.
"I'm proudest of when I first appeared to Matt Cardle's mum as the Cowelly spirit, and knocked her up with the lad that would bring joy to all this Christmas."